Tuesday, 31 May 2016

May Month in Review

Saw Emily

Re-read Faery Tale Signe Pike
The Magicians Lev Grossman
The Magician King Lev Grossman
Spellcaster Claudia Gray

Rewatching The Magicians
Breaking bad
The Dresden Files
Indian Summers series
Kindred the Embraced series
Blade series
P!nk Concert
Upstairs Downstairs

Woods of Ypres
Blue Oyster Cult
Melanie Martinez
Lacuna Coil
The Pretty Reckles

Monday, 30 May 2016


Faery necklace from Ironfest

Prehnite crystal studs from Gnostic Rocks

Fox mitten gloves (they transform) from Kmart

Pink and blue glitter nailpolish (Ulta3 brand I think, found in chemists)

Witchy boots

Glitter rose earrrings Kmart

Unicorn pendant secondhand, Glamourkin pendant by Jennifer and Sarah Diemer, teapot pendant from street stall, pink glass bead necklace from charity shop

Pink Makeup

Saturday, 28 May 2016

Sewing: Faery Hoodie Part 1

Normal hoodie


Freehanded wing pattern

To be continued...

Wednesday, 25 May 2016


Dress: Sakkas.com
Purple cardi: secondhand
Black leggings

Faux crystal pendant: Kmart

Crystal pendant: gift from inlaws, from Cawdor Castle
Faery pendant: secondhand

Monday, 23 May 2016

Death tag

From Lucretia's Reflection. http://lucretiasreflection.blogspot.com

1. How would you like to die?

Painlessly in my sleep.

2. What would happen to your blog?

I guess it would just stop being updated.

3. Who will you leave money to?

Animal charities, maybe some depression groups. I would leave a pension to any pets which outlived me.

4. What happens to your body after you pass?

Cremated, because rotting grosses me out. Ashes scattered or buried in a garden or forest with no marker.

5. What do you want your funeral to be like?

I think No One Shall Know My Name, from Turandot is a great funeral song. I know some people want cheery funerals, but I want mine to be sad so I know I was loved.

6. What will you miss the most that still exists after death?

I certainly hope that I will go to a Summerlands where all my animal friends who have passed live and we want for nothing. I'd probably miss friends and pets left behind in life. I'm sure there'd be cake in the afterlife.

7. How will you want to be remembered?

Kind, loved.

Sunday, 22 May 2016

Can you wear colour and still be Goth?

When I was younger, I thought that if you were a Goth, you could only wear white, black, red, maroon, purple, dark blue and dark green. For years I stuck firmly to this colour palette. At some point, I started wondering who I was trying to impress.

These days, I have friends who identify as Goth and friends who identify as non-Goth. Most of them wear colour at least occasionally and none of them seem to care if I do.

The way I see it, if Goth is really about rebelling, you can wear what you like. If it's really about being yourself, you should wear what you like. If one month I want to be a dark sorceress and the next I want to be a faery princess, why not?

Most of my favourite music falls under the Goth, Gothic Metal or Goth friendly banner; I love cemeteries; I have studied the history of the Gothic genre and Gothic literature. No one can take my Goth card away.

Wear what makes you happy!

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Silly Sarah

I love my little Sarah dog more than anything! Here are some of the adorable things she does.

  • She likes to burrow under the blankets and quilt and hide there for hours. She often gets too hot and has to tunnel out and lie in front of the fan. Then when she's cool, dives back in again.
  • When being made to do something she doesn't want (like getting out of bed) she rolls over on her back and goes stiff as a board to evade capture.
  • She can stand on her back legs. If she wants attention she will do this and pat me with her "hand" like a little kid.
  • She springs up to about 30 cm in the air when really excited.
  • She likes to carry her food to the nearest rug to eat it.
  • If you play a video of chicken sounds she stares into space and turns her head from side to side.
  • She likes to lie in washing baskets or piles of washed clothes etc. The higher and more precarious the better.
  • I'm her favourite person and she loves to sit on my lap for hours. Sometimes if I'm lying down she also stands on my chest which is not so comfortable.
  • She's obsessed with tummy rubs. She lies on her back and flails her legs at you until you do it. 
  • She knows what an oven timer is and when it goes off gets excited for food. 
  • She sneakily steals food which is not that odd but once she stole one biscuit from a plate of two and we joke she left the other to "share".
  • She likes to rest her chin on things. Chair arms, my arm or leg if we're snuggling.
  • Wherever I go in the house I can hear the tippy-tappy of tiny feet following me.
  • When she stretches she makes this really human moaning sound. She also grunts like a pig when she burrows under the quilt.
  • She has a tiny mouth but still basically inhales food with a slurping sound and sometimes you have to rub her throat while she chokes.
  • She sits with her legs tucked under her like a cat so it looks like she has no legs. Like a cat loaf, only a dog loaf. Sometimes she lies with her legs stretched out straight which I call her little horse pose.
  • She does a "pointing" begging thing with her paw when she wants food.
  • She loves sunbathing, which is not unusual, but after a few days of rain, I once caught her squinting up at the blindingly blue sky with such a look of bliss, it was truly special.

Wednesday, 18 May 2016

From Tree of Life store photoshoot.

Tuesday, 17 May 2016


Shrug, sequinned top secondhand
Black tourmaline pendant
Brown dress from HolyClothing.com, shortened by me.

Sunday, 15 May 2016

Selfmade lace dress

I sewed this faery dress bodice out of lace scraps. The skirt is material from a dress. The scarf I bought at Hatters Tea House.

Friday, 13 May 2016

Skull and butterflies

Just a little sketch I did 26th April 2016

I like a mix of the ethereal and the macabre.

Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Month in Review: February - April 2016


Saw a faery
Saw another faery talking to Sarah?

Faery Tale- Signe Pike
Ballad Maggie Stiefvater
The Anatomy of Curiosity , and

The Cure
London After Midnight
The Clash
Amy Winehouse
Inkubus Sukkubus
The Smiths
Witches Song- Marianne Faithfull
People are Strange- The Doors
Cry Little Sister- ?
Perfect Day- Lou Reed
The Romanovs
Fields of the Nephilim

Dirty Dancing
Molly (Meldrum) Miniseries
Nowhere Boys (Australian series)
The Vampire Diaries
The Originals
Hotel Transylvania
SLC Punk
Nowhere Boys
Lovejoy (Ian McShane)


Galleries with Fiona

Firebirds anthology
The Ivory and The Horn Charles de Lint
Desert Tales Melissa Marr
The Darkest Part of the Forest Holly Black
Eerie Dearies Rebecca Chaperon
Hannah's Garden Midori Snyder
Some Kind of Fairy Tale Graham Joyce 

Deine Lakaien
Fields of The Nephilim

Nowhere Boys: The Book of Shadows


Saw Kat, Michelle and Anita
Dyed hair pink-orange
Making faery clothes

Lady Midnight Cassandra Clare
The Replacement Brenna Yovanoff
Dreamfever Kit Alloway
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
Nettle king Katherine Harbour

The Magicians
Better Call Saul
The Dressmaker
Breaking Bad
Shadowhunters TV series
The Sisterhood of the Night
To Write Love on Her Arms (warning: drug use, sexual assault, mental illness, self harm)
Lost River
Rewatching The Magicians s1

The Romanovs
London After Midnight
Deine Laikaien
Nox Arcana
Woods of Ypres

Monday, 9 May 2016

Faery Sister

Hanging out with my faery sister, Emily.

Mural in Gosford. Look at that bird!

Trying on hats at Jean Marie Millinery Gosford

A new friend for Emily- my birthday present to her- Miss Kitty Fantastico, the rainbow butterfly unicorn kitten.

Miss Kitty is from:

Saturday, 7 May 2016


Top secondhand over singlet
Skirt: 75% off at Tree of Life

Earrings: amber ones from Bane GIY
Blue ones from ??

Necklaces: secondhand and from boyfriend

Wednesday, 4 May 2016


2 years

So it's been a little over two years since I had a breakdown, not to the day or anything. I am not fully better but I am doing a lot better than I was two years ago. People need to realise depression is about dealing, making steps forward, not a complete cure.

 It wasn't the first time I suffered serious depression. I had money worries and bad work situations in the past that really brought me low, and I my doctors and I think I have probably had anxiety since childhood.

But what matters is I survived, I made it through. It still isn't easy but I make it every day.

I have had bad times before and after that. I had a lot of anxiety and depression due to work stress in the past, and suffered physical symptoms from that.

I still have social anxiety, and am still trying to get up the courage to tell people to just fuck off when they treat me with disrespect. I am still much too polite.

I've been lucky to have a supportive partner and BFF and not have any really bad side effects with medicine. My partner helped me stop self harming back in around 2007 and I haven't had a serious cut since then.

I have trouble sleeping and horrible dreams which can make it hard to get through the day, but having my dog is one of the best things to keep me going, I am very lucky to live somewhere I can have a pet.

I have always been imaginative and it still kills me that the world we live in cannot match my dreams. I have to believe that there is magic hidden in the world, its part of what keeps me going.

I still am not 100% sure where my life is going, I want to write and I'd like to help animals. I really don't have that much energy and I am not sure if I could even work a part time job. I hope to focus on my writing.

I try to focus on things that make me happy and not to push myself too hard or expect too much of myself. The troubles of the world affect me very strongly, I try to avoid the news. Thanks to my anxiety I have to deal with constant thoughts of terrible things which is always fun. Meditation doesn't really work for me, when its silent is the worst time, so headphones with music, movies and books help distract me. Dressing up is a big thing for me, it helps me feel awesome and get me out of the house. Friends are the best and make me feel very happy and important.

Surviving is what matters.

Tuesday, 3 May 2016


Butterfly earrings from some costume jewellery shop long ago

The dress was from Holy Clothing but was too long for short little me so I cut it down. You can probably see it in old pictures from 2014.

I am also wearing a black tourmaline pendant.

Monday, 2 May 2016

April Photo a Day #10

28. Season: Autumn

29. Man Made: N/A

30. Book: currently reading one of my favourite authors!