Recent Outfits

Jacket, top and skirt secondhand

Ankh from eBay

My Goddess tattoo

Hellbunny Mary Jane dress from eBay

Blog Giveaway Winner

And the winner is comment number 6, Miss Misantropia! Very fitting as I won her blog giveaway too! Here is the random number generator to prove it!

You have my email, so email me back and let me know where to send it! :)

30 Day Goth Challenge Days 3-6

Day 4 – Name a stereotype or cliche you can relate to. 

I think one of the important things when having Gothic interests is being able to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too seriously. Now that I am older I can joke about things like "Goth Cards" and getting kicked out of the "Secret Goth Cabal" as Jillian Venters jokingly calls it, and not take myself too seriously. I don't feel the need to always impress other Goths or wear black 100% of the time. I don't think you have to grow out of Goth but I think you can grow up in Goth, outgrow the constant feeling of needing to be accepted, outgrow any bitchiness or need to criticise others.  

I guess I could fit the role of some tortured Regency/Georgian writer, like my heroes, Byron, Shelley, Coleridge, especially as I am a bit of a techophobe. In the end we embrace the cliche but are able to laugh at ourselves. we understand the beauty in the mysteries of life and death.

I do love the Goth (stereo)types series by Trellia.

I definitely think my style has taken a bit of turn in the perky direction recently.

Day 5 – Is there a local Goth band or group in your area? 

I think there are probably quite a few Gothic bands in the nearby city. Two really good Sydney bands that I have seen perform are The Dark Shadows, which has a bit of an old school 80s Goth feel and SNUFF which is kind of industrial (I told you I am no good at using music terms). I have seen both perform and talked to members of both bands and they are so nice in real life, and their music is great to dance to!

Day 6 – Hand write your favourite lyric and take a picture.

There are a lot of lyrics I love, but the cuteness of this one always gets me. Plus it gave me an excuse to draw a picture! 

Mabon

(Picture found online)

The Australian Hedge Witch:

"Tomorrow (21st of March 2015) we celebrate Mabon! It is known as the "Witches" Thanksgiving." It is celebrated on the Autumnal Equinox, and it is the second of the three harvest holidays. This harvest holiday is for the harvest of fruits and vegetables; a time to reap what you have sown, and any grains leftover from Lughnasadh, such as the last of the corn. We should give thanks for the harvest and the bounty the Earth provides. It is a time of equal day and equal night, and for the moment nature is in balance. Time for finishing up old projects and plans and planting the seeds for new enterprises or a change in lifestyle. 

The Druids call this celebration, Mea'n Fo'mhair, and honor the The Green Man, the God of the Forest, by offering libations to trees. Offerings of ciders, wines, herbs and fertilizer are appropriate at this time. Wiccans celebrate the aging Goddess as she passes from Mother to Crone, and her consort the God as he prepares for death and re-birth.

The Dark Mother, Demeter, also represents this time of year. Mabon rituals welcome the Dark Mother, and celebrates that aspect of the Goddess which we may not always find comforting or appealing, but which we must always be willing to acknowledge."

Candle Thankfulness ritual

The day before Mabon, I did a simple version of a candle thankfulness ritual. I lit a candle and wrote a list of things I was thankful for in life, giving thanks to the God and Goddess.

Mabon Apple Ritual

I found a Mabon apple ritual online. I opened with the circle calling instructions from Spellcraft For Hedgewitches by Rae Beth. It probably doesn't need a circle but I wanted to do it properly.

I began by casting a circle with my crystal wand.

"I cast this circle in the name of the Mother Goddess and her Lord, nature's guardian. May it be a meeting place of love and wisdom."

I replaced the wand and continued:

"I call upon the elemental spirits of Air, the breath of life, to watch over me and assist me with magic. spirits of voice that sings and of wind that lifts wings, hail and welcome.

"I call upon the elemental spirits of Fire, the flame of life, to watch over me and assist me with magic. Spirits of bright energy in each living being and in hearth fire and in Earth's core, hail and welcome.

"I call upon the elemental spirits of Water, the flow of life, to watch over me and assist me with magic. Spirits of dream seen reflected in fresh steam, spirits of deep feeling, hail and welcome.

"I call upon the elemental spirits of Earth, the body of life, to watch over me and assist me with magic. Spirits of stone and bone, flesh, vegetation, matter of fact, hail and welcome.

"I call upon the elemental spirits of Ether, the wraith of life, to watch over me and assist me with magic. You who are everywhere, in all directions, in Fire and Water and Earth and Air, sustaining, I bid you hail and welcome.

"Great Mother, you who are creative power in every cell of our bodies and in each star and in all the multitudes of plants and creatures, on land or under teh sea, I call upon you to waken within me the power to cast spells. A vibrant Lady of Faery, bless my work of magic. Make all things well. For you are the wisdom of nature and deep enchantment and the pattern of harmony, throughout all worlds.

"I call upon you, Great Horned God, the Father of Wildness. Within each heart. Lead me, as I turn within to untamed faery places. You who are the prompter of each step beyond the safe boundaries, let magic start. But guide and watch over me now, as I hunt the moment when power rises and spells are cast."

I then proceeded with the following rite:

Mabon Apple Harvest Rite

The apple's star is often seen as a magical symbol.

Patti Wigington

Paganism/Wicca Expert

Mabon, the Autumn Equinox, is celebrated in many ways around the world. It is a day of balance, with equal amounts of darkness and light, but soon, winter will arrive. In some Wiccan traditions, it marks the time when the Sun King descends into the underworld, from which he will be reborn at Yule.
In many pantheons, the apple is a symbol of the Divine. Apple trees are representative of wisdom and guidance.

This apple ritual will allow you time to thank the gods for their bounty and blessings, and to enjoy the magic of the earth before the winds of winter blow through.

Decorate your altar with symbols of the season -- a basket of gourds or small pumpkins, colorful fall leaves, acorns, vines, grapes or blackberries. You'll also need a pair of orange candles to symbolize the harvest, a cup of cider or wine, and an apple.
If your tradition requires you to cast a circle, do so now.
Light your harvest candles. Face the altar and hold the apple in both hands. If you can do this rite outside, raise the apple up to the sky, and feel the wisdom and energy of the gods coming to you. Say

The apple is sacred, a symbol of the gods,
and holds the knowledge of the ancients inside.
Tonight I ask the gods to bless me with their wisdom.
 
Say:
Five points in a star, hidden inside.
One for earth, one for air, one for fire,
one for water, and the last for spirit.

Next, turn to the south and say:
I call upon the wise ones, the ancient gods,
as the sun moves away and fire fades,
to be replaced with the chill of the night.

Finally, face west, and say:
I will reflect on the guidance of the gods,
and let the cool autumn rains wash over me,
cleansing my heart and soul.

Raise the cup of wine or cider to the sky, and toast the gods. Say:
The wild god returns this night to the belly of the Mother.
The mother goddess tonight becomes the Crone.
As the Wheel of the Year turns, the earth dies a bit each day.
I willingly follow the old gods into the darkness,
where they will watch over me, protect me, and keep me safe.

Sip from the cup, and as you drink your wine or cider, think about the power and energy of the Divine, in whatever aspect you choose to honor.
Extinguish one of the candles, and say:
The wild god has gone to rest in the Underworld.
I look to the darkness for renewal and rebirth.

Tips:

• Leave the apples on your altar overnight, and the next morning, put them in your garden as an offering to the earth.
• Feel free to replace the wild god and mother goddess with the names of deities from your own tradition.

The Woman Who Dated Death

Do you really believe me? I mean, most people think I'm crazy or on drugs or something. 

All right then. Well it was about five years ago. I had just broken up with my ex and was living in the kind of shitty apartment you live in when you're in that sort of situation. He lived a few floors below. Not in the basement or anything dramatic. I was on the tenth, he was on the sixth. We passed each other in the stairwell, made the typical evasive small-talk of the recently separated. 

He asked me out a few times before I said yes. We went to a dingy little restaurant...

What did he look like? Normal, not memorable. Thick glasses. Neat suits but a bit too neat, a bit nerdy, you know?

Well, about halfway through dinner it must have become clear I was totally disinterested. That was when he sighed, took off his glasses and asked me to look into his eyes. Really look. 

Those glasses... they weren't to help him see. They were to hide his eyes. 

What did I see?  It's hard to explain... but it was like he had no eyes at all, I was looking down into an endless pit, and tortured souls were reaching their arms out to me! 

Scared? I suppose, a little. But it turned me on. We paid the check in a hurry. We could barely keep our hands off each other in the taxi. When we got back to his apartment we fucked for hours. 

We got to talking later. He told me about his last girlfriend. She was hit by a car and there was nothing he could do about it. He had to collect her soul. She lives inside me forever, now  he said, and I shuddered, thinking of those hands, reaching out of the darkness. 

We had a thing for a while. Eventually I got my life together and got a new place, moved out. I haven't seen him in years, but I know I'll see him again one day. Right at the end. 

(c)opyright Laura Morrigan 2015

Based on a short story I wrote over 15 years ago

Week in Review 9th- 15th and 16th- 22nd March

9th- 15th March

What I did

Burning patchouli incense in my dragon incense burner from Luna Celeste.com
Got a tattoo on Friday the 13th (Goddess symbol)
Dancing at Corrosion Goth club with friends!

Listening to

Nick Cave
APC
The March Violets
Fields of Nephilim
Theatre of Tragedy
Lycia
Classic Goth music at Corrosion (Sisters of Mercy, etc)

Reading

The Goth Bible by Nancy Kilpatrick
Blood magic by Tessa Gratton
Trigger Warning by Neil Gaimann (in terms of actual Triggers in this book, there is one reference to self harm, and mostly just a lot of death as per usual Neil Gaiman)
Amphigorey by Edward Gorey

Watching

 Witches of East End

16th- 22nd March

What I did

A Mabon Ritual
Some writng

Listening to

Woods of Ypres
Autumn Tears
Switchblade Symphony
Nosferatu

Reading

Wicca: A Year and a Day by Timothy Roderick
Blood magic  by Tessa Gratton. (A very enjoyable young adult magic novel, but lots of blood as auggested by the title, so avoid it if you're not a fan of that)
The Goth bible by Nancy Kilpatrick
Meatcake by Dame Darcy

Watching

Witches of East End
Sleepy Hollow
The Originals
The Words (2012)
10 Minute meditations by Positive Magazine on YouTube

Moon to Moon: Florist Bleuet Coquelicot in Paris

 Read the full article:

Moon to Moon: Florist Bleuet Coquelicot in Paris

How utterly lovely!

Tiny florist shop is going on the backup careers list!

Only Child

I read once that in the original Snow White fairytale, there was no stepmother, only a real mother filled with jealousy of her daughter. A sort of "be careful what you wish for" tale. I thought about of the mothers with Postnatal Depression who cannot bond with their children and wondered if this was the true story behind Snow White. I do not mean to demonise anyone with Postnatal Depression or other illnesses, but to try and see the story behind the fairytale.

POSSIBLE TRIGGERS: Domestic Violence, Postnatal Depression

Poem (c)opyright Laura Morrigan 2015

Only Child 

(A retelling of Snow White)

A mother's wish for her child is always selfish

When I felt the life moving within me

I wished for her to be all things

Beautiful, wise, brave

And lucky

When she blossomed into the world

Tearing out of me

I thought I would know beauty

But there was only pain

Days, weeks, months passing in a blur

Only knowing the lingering sadness

Of this part of you

Becoming something else

Growing, changing on its own

Skin as white as snow

Skin that needed

Thick lashings of sunscreen

Like whipped cream

And to be kept out of the sun

Lest she turn red as a lobster

Crying all the time

When she was hungry

Sick

And I

Who she was once a part of

Unable to guess her needs

Frustration

Resentment

Wanting to turn back time

Why did I ever wish for a child?

I would watch him playing with her

With her little pink toes

He made her laugh as I never could

I remembered when I was his everything

I faded into the background

He barely seemed to see me

My drab clothes over my stretched body

Misshapen by childbirth

The damage she had done

Postnatal depression they finally said

There were pills

A counsellor

Things got better for a time

I tried to love her

Tried to relish the fact her beauty grew as mine faded

Tried not to see how his love for me faded as his for her grew

I threw the pills down the toilet,

Nothing would make it better

I wanted her to bleed like I had for her

I wanted to see that snow white skin split open

I wanted her to feel the pain that I did

I slit open

That snow white skin

So many cuts

I cut my only child

And felt no remorse

Somehow I failed

She broke free

Running down the street leaving behind her blood drops like rubies

The surgeon in the hospital who sewed her up

Had a face like a prince in a storybook.

I knew that he loved her at once

Just like everybody else

I played the grieving mother but this time no one believed

She didn't look at me as they took me away to the psych ward

They say I won't see jail and for that I am grateful

Here in this ward where the walls are painted like a forest

Because they think it will keep us calm

She visits me and tells me I am still her mother

I relish the scars that cover her arms and chest

And mar that skin as white as snow

They should not have shown me mercy

If they ever let me out

I will kill that snow white bitch.

Cage

 

Artwork (c)opyright Laura Morrigan 2015

Drawn 17th March 2015

Pencil and pen

Recent Outfits

tiny green skull earrings were once my friend Emily's

With my Kat

My jumper is a secondhand oversized Sourpuss on, I think it's a sweater dress.

Outfit for Corrosion Goth club
Dress: Jawbreaker

Giant ankh: Killstar

Dress: Sourpuss

Necklace: home made from earring

30 Day Goth Challenge Days 1-3

Just for fun, here is a picture of me from 2007 when we went to the Absinthe shop in France only to find it closed for the day. #Gothproblems :P

Day 1 – How did you come to the subculture? 

For me it was a series of unconnected events that eventually led to Gothicness.

When I was a kid I was always fascinated by the dark beauty of the black clad teens who hung out in the local park. The rather pagan looking sculptures there went well with their stark elegance. I also remember a very handsome boy wearing a cape.

I read Edgar Allan Poe as a kid and was hooked. Also Ray Bradbury's The Homecoming, a short story which also apparently really influenced young Neil Gaiman.

I had some friends in high school a few years older than me. I am still friends on Facebook with a few, as we caught up again after high school. I remember them talking about Vampire The Masquerade, and I am pretty sure one of them suggested Anne Rice to me. I especially loved how one of the guys had a pocket watch and waistcoat. I don't think I had even heard the term Goth back then. I read The Vampire Lestat in year 8.

At some point I learned the word Goth, for some reason I can't remember where. By the time I went into year 11 and got to study the Gothic genre for literature (yay!) I already dreamed of dark Romantigoth rags, black lace, red roses, a Gothic boyfriend and piles of Alchemy Gothic jewellery. I think my parents still think that studying the Gothic genre made me Goth.

In year 11 (2004, when I was 17) I was also to meet my boyfriend, now partner, who at the time had a few interesting Gothic interests. 

Day 2 – Share photos and experiences from your Baby Bat days. 

Interestingly enough, I have very few photos from my early Goth days. Perhaps it was because my parents did not want photos of me looking like that?

I have never really worn much makeup, just sometimes a little eyeshadow or eyeliner and lipstick, as I have fair, mostly clear skin, long eyelashes, and because my mum hates makeup, so I never learned properly.

All my Goth clothes back then came from op shops. I mostly had plain black clothes, a few pieces of fishnet, purple and maroon clothes. I swear I am not lying when I say I don't think I had any embarrassing outfits, although I never tried to dress super Goth, mostly just cute black dresses with black cardis and lots of lace. I guess my style was always pretty casual Goth or perky Goth. I think my few photos are packed away at the moment. You can see one on my banner, the one with the skull.

Day 3 – When did you come out the Goth closet? (If you didn’t then simply discuss the topic)

I told my parents I was Goth sometime during year 11, I think. I wish I hadn't told them as it caused trouble until the day I moved out, since they could not see me as the same person they did before I started wearing all black and the occasional safety pin. I already had problems with them before this, however, as they had some old fashioned values like not dating.

I seriously looked really hard for some photos but couldn't find any older than about 2007, some of which I am sharing in my Flashback Thursday posts.

Dream Home and Garden

A few amazing pictures I had to share!

Blog Giveaway: Nightflower: The Life and Art of Vali Myers

I am giving away a copy of Nightflower: The Life and Art of Vali Myers. It is a slim softcover paperback, so in the hope that postage will be affordable, I am opening this giveaway to readers from all around the world.

To enter, please leave a comment on this post. If you want to write something interesting, and not at all related to the topic please feel free. The winner will be chosen with a random number generator about a week from now, or maybe slightly longer if I get lazy. :P

Oh yes and leave an email if you aren't my contact on facebook or something already.

Throwback Thursday: Les Catacombes de Paris

Photos taken in 2007 in the Paris Catacombs. They are mostly pretty dark as they asked us not to use flash.

 

I somewhat wish my future remains could be part of such a wonderful work of art and mortality.

Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan and Mark Evans

I apologise for the terrible pictures, you can probably tell I got excited and didn't really frame anything properly!

The box is not made to put the cards back in, I worry about them getting damaged now they are unwrapped. Need a proper box or bag.

The booklet has black and white illustrations and a couple of pages of information.

the back of the deck matches my Friday the 13th Goddess tattoo!

What a handsome young man!

So glad to see people of colour represented!

Some of my favourite cards. I really love the imagery in this deck and think I will identify with it better than my old deck. There were a couple of cards with images of cutesy kids I wasn't really that fond of, but in general, this is my favourite tarot deck I have seen so far!

Why Only One?

Why can you only have one soulmate? And why can it only be your romantic partner? What if everyone who touches your soul, who inspires you to be a better person, to write, to dream, what if all these people are your soulmates? Are you all pieces of the same soul or do you share some universal spark? Are you stars fallen down to earth, trying to find each other and return to your celestial home? Does it matter? Embrace the magic you share, love each other, treasure each other! Inspire each other!

Artwork (c)opyright Laura Morrigan

Drawn February 2015

Watercolour pencils and ink pen

Not Celebrating St Patrick's Day

From http://www.pagancentric.org/pagans-and-saint-patricks-day/

"If most people know anything about Saint Patrick, it’s that his one claim to fame is that he drove the snakes from Ireland. What most people don’t realize is that the snake is a Pagan symbol, and that the snakes referred to in the Saint Patrick mythos are not meant in the literal sense, but refer to Pagans; i.e., Saint Patrick drove the Pagans (specifically, the Celts) out of Ireland (although it could be said, and has been argued, that much has been done in Saint Patrick’s name, but that the man himself was relatively unimportant). So what is celebrated on Saint Patrick’s Day with drinking and much cavorting is, ironically, the spread of Christianity throughout Ireland and the subjugation and conversion of the Celts."

I am not only a Pagan, and a woman (who were the ones most often persecuted as witches) but also have a Celtic background, so this strongly resonates with me. Today I shall not be wearing green or a shamrock, but thinking of all the people who were pointlessly subjugated in the name of religion.

The short version:

being all the me's i can be

 Because it's ok to be a Faery Princess, a Goth, a witch, a tortured writer, and anything else you want to be, all at once!

Because you can suffer anxiety and depression and still be a beautiful, magical creature!

 

 Never let go of your spark and your self belief!