Tuesday, 2 September 2014

The Eye That Could See

Aaah, I am so far behind on post comments, I think it's been about three days, which given how many blogs I follow is probably about 50 posts! Please be patient while I try to catch up!

Today's entry is a story based on real life, I haven't ever really written something based on real life before so it was definitely interesting to give it a go.


A sort of true story

Inspired by the amazing Magaly 

Magaly, I don't remember if I told you this but your character is named after Mina Murray. 

One day, Mina woke up with a terrible pain in her eye. She went to her husband, who could see nothing wrong with it. All day, as she went about her business, shapes swam in the corner of her eye. She hoped it would go away, that it was simply irritation. She used some eyedrops, and went to bed.

The next day, the pain was worse. As she left the house and went about her shopping, things seemed strange. People seemed to stare, and there was something not right about them.

Mina decided to go to the hospital. She took an umbrella with her because it looked like rain, and it was good for steadying herself. Her sore eye made it hard to focus, and the pavement seemed determined to meet with her face.

As she was headed through the hospital, Mina heard a cry. As she ran to the source, some dust blew into her good eye, filling it with tears. Her vision was completely blurred, but she kept going. Mina had a kind heart and a warrior spirit, and she could not ignore the cry of someone in pain.

Her sore eye was throbbing with her raised heartbeat, but her view had cleared somewhat. Through the painful eye, Mina managed to make out a child, lying on the floor screaming as a cruel monster tried to drag it away. With a wild cry, Mina charged at the monster, laying at it with her umbrella. It gave a horrible inhuman cry and stumbled away. Mina helped the child to its feet and hugged its shaking body. Her eye was hurting so bad she had to close it.

A doctor came along, and Mina explained as best she could, her eyes both squinched closed. She did not mention the monster, just said that 'someone' was hurting Roger, which is what the child had told her his name was, between sobs.

Mina was taken to the examination room, and given eyedrops in both eyes. The dust was washed from her good eye and her bad one was hurting less now. They could not see what was wrong with it, but suggested she wear a patch over it for a while. She nodded, confused.

On her way out of the hospital, feeling her way with the umbrella, one eye open, an old man came up to Mina and gave her a hug, she was a little taken aback.

“Thank you again for helping me,” the old man smiled, “that orderly was a real bastard, if you'll pardon my French.”

“I... I'm sorry,” Mina said, “who are you?”

“Oh, that's all right,” the man smiled, “they said you had something in your eyes and could hardly see. It's Roger, who you saved in the corridor!”

“Oh, I see,” Mina said, although she didn't really. “You're welcome. Will you be OK, now?”

“I will, my daughter is getting me this afternoon, and that orderly is going to be in a lot of trouble”, the old man smiled. “Take care of yourself, you are a rare and wonderful person.”

Mina and the old man parted, smiling, and she walked to the bus stop.

The next morning, when she awoke, her eye did not hurt at all. Everything went back to normal until a couple of weeks later, when she awoke with her eye hurting so badly she wanted to scream. Sighing, she got the bus to the hospital again.

On the bus, a group of large green lizards with black eyes slouched across the bus seats. Mina ignored them. Her eye was clearly playing up again, the blurred vision making things seem what they were not. As they went around a corner, the bus lurched, and a young girl nearly fell. Mina caught her elbow, and helped her up. When the bus straightened up, Mina marched over to the lizards and, with a flick of her arm, knocked them off the seat. She helped the girl to sit down, and sat down next to her. The lizards were standing up, holding the bus rail, swearing at her. She closed her bad eye to squint at them with her good one. They were a group of teenage boys, complete with low slung pants showing boxers and the backward caps. One of them stuck up a finger at her. She turned to the old woman she had rescued and they shared a smile.

Now Mina knew the truth. Her eye saw what others could not. It saw what was really inside of others. The innocents appeared as young children, no matter their age. The guilty were monsters. Her eye showed her the reality beneath the skins we wear, so that she could help others. Somehow, she had been chosen for this special gift, because she, Mina, was a warrior for justice. The one with the eye that could see.


  1. Wow, this story is so beautiful!!! I love the concept!!!

    1. Thank you, although I think the credit for the inspiration has to go to Magaly who actually did defend an old man!

  2. This story takes me to another world. It has so much dimension! I love your writing style, more in the future for sure please and thank you ;)

  3. This is so special! I really love it!
    (I am always behind in blogging!)

    1. Thank you :)

      I keep getting behind too, it's hard to keep up with so many awesome blogs to follow! I need to catch up!

  4. Knowing the original story you've based this on I love it how you've rewritten it into a story with a twist. Brilliant.

  5. How did miss this? What a wondrous, hope-filled story, Laura. Love the fluidity of the world and personalities. ♥

  6. I envy your writing talent! Truly, this tale is wonderful! xoDebi

  7. Lovely story. You have a wonderful sense of insight and knowing in this tale that is taken from "sorta real". How charming and loving Mina is even in her malady. Good story thanks for sharing. Oma Linda

  8. I absolutely love this Laura! Great writing :)

  9. This story is the true story of Magaly. Thanks for putting it out there!

  10. Thank you all so much for your wonderful comments! They warm my heart and inspire me to keep writing!