I think everyone has felt it, the pressure to fit in. Whether to the idea of normal or to a subculture. The difficult part is ignoring all these pressures and letting yourself really be the person you want to be.
Change itself can be confusing, since I have been trying to live a simpler and more positive life I found many questions. Did I have to dress more hippie? Could I still obsess over clothes the way I do?
Am I still Goth when I love Goth things but wear colours a lot of the time?
Who cares what others think, I am what I want to be!
Every now and then you seem to have to realign. I don't know about you but I seem to have phases, I will spend a phase doing more Gothy things then go back to more nature-like, faery things.
At the moment getting inspiration outside is annoyingly hard as it is really hot and sweaty! And it's not even Summer yet!
This last year or so this blog has also changed, it has gone from mostly book reviews and fashion to more personal. It is so weird to realise that! I guess I am becoming more open about my life, now that I am trying to make changes. I am trying to inspire myself and hopefully inspire others, too.
I have always allowed myself to be different- I have always been a little odd, I think weird things, my brain is always working. I am used to being the odd one out. What I haven't always done is allowed myself to really embrace positivity and change. I want to be really open to a simpler life where I reach for nothing more than pure happiness.
I know that, despite my efforts, I do still lean a little towards the view of possessions making you happy and I am working on that. I am going to try and only get things that enrich me- holidays, oracle cards, books on magick, etc. and stop buying so many clothes! I do want to embrace a more forest elf/ faery style though, so I will have to start getting back to sewing again. Sewing is good anyway, as making something is very rewarding.
I don't want to define who or what I want to be because I don't want to limit myself. I want to experience all the good things there are to experience!
My faery altar currently, click on image to see it larger.
Last night I pulled 6 Goddess Guidance Oracle cards from the deck to get an idea of the things I need to work on. This is what I got:
White Tara reversed means I really need to work on avoiding "harsh relationships, environments, situations and chemicals."
I feel quite strongly drawn to these last two.